


Father Viktor's: Tales for Unenthusiastic Campers

by Melody0136



Series: YOI Collab Game 2: Creepypasta AU [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Campfire stories, Creepy Pasta verse, Gen, Let's get this over with!, Rated for Yuri's Potty Mouth, Secrets & Mysteries, That is now a thing, Till now I knew this AU as Net Lore but I see that makes 0 sense so creepypasta it is, yoi collab game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melody0136/pseuds/Melody0136
Summary: Creepy stories are told around the unsolicited campfire thanks to Russia's one and only Viktor Nikiforov





	Father Viktor's: Tales for Unenthusiastic Campers

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a super unserious preface/setup to the fics written for our contribution to the second round of the YOI Collab Game!
> 
> With the theme of Secrets & Mysteries we came up with a Creepypasta AU? So,, enjoy my attempt at humour and read on along the series! If you will?!
> 
> Thank you!

It was at times like these that Katsudon's brand of fond exasperation towards his unnecessarily-rich-manchild of a fiancé was clearly more exasperated than fond, and the tiniest portion of Yuri's brain wondered if their impending marriage would actually last until they _actually_ got to the altar.

Also Yuri has no idea how the hell Otabek got roped into this- one minute, the two of them were out for a ride on his motorbike that never failed to make Otabek exude even more Cool Badass than he did during every waking moment- he probably came out of his mother's womb wearing tinted sunglasses and a pure leather jacket sewn by a blind mob boss, but he digresses- so, they were on Otabek's motorbike, no particular destination when Viktor had ridden up in his dumb pink Cadillac with his dumb pink fiancé- he was really prone to blushing, okay, but, whatever.  
It was a wonder Katsudon could sleep through Viktor's driving- or maybe the fear was what had put him to sleep. He'd shut down his mind in order to preserve his sanity for when he could safely unbuckle his seatbelt and escape the lunatic.

"Come for a drive with us!" Viktor enthused.

"Hell no!" Yuri snapped.

"Aw, why not? Yuuri's been working so hard lately, we thought we might stop somewhere for burgers and _ice cream_ \- two more orders won't be any more expense- besides, don't you want to _indulge_? On _free_ food nonetheless? Hmmmm??"

He had Yuri at burgers, ice cream, and _F_ _ree_.

On their ride back from the diner, Yuri and Otabek had overlooked the wrong turn Viktor had taken, trusting that Viktor was taking an alternate route or something and not that he was lost.

Or baiting them into an impromptu camping trip.

  
That had been their first and last mistake.

  
Viktor had stepped out of his car after coming to a clearing with two tents set up a ways from a fire pit.

"Oi, Viktor, what the hell are we doing here? Where the hell are we anyway?" Yuri growled as soon as he caught up to him.

"I don't know!" Viktor chirped.

Silence reigned for all of ten seconds.

"What the hell do you mean you 'don't know'?!"

"I don't know where we are but Yakov knows! I'd planned this all ahead and looked up how to get here, rented out the space in advance blah blah blah, but as far as the name of this place and or or our general location I couldn't tell you! You know how I am with my goldfish's memory, Yura!"

Yuri seriously couldn't tell whether or not the man was joking.  
Knowing Viktor it could be one hundred percent serious, but he wouldn't endanger someone who was still technically a minor, the Hero of Kazakhstan and his precious Katsudon, would he?

Would he?!

"Are you kidding me?! Why the hell didn't Yakov me about this?!"

"Oh well I wouldn't say he _knows_ \- I left a note in his drawer for him to find at the rink tomorrow morning, in his desk drawer!"

Silence reigned under the rule of Viktor Nikiforov once more.

"What. The hell... In the drawer where he keeps the mail he never opens and only clears out to burn through once a year or the one where he actually files stuff that's important and checks literally every hour?"

"Oh..." Viktor had the decency to look the slightest bit guilty, "- one of them I'm sure..!"

"To hell with this, Viktor- Beka and I are leaving!" Yuri yelled and began stomping off towards Otabek's bike.

"Oh no would you look at that, sorry! It's far too late for two youngsters to go riding about on a motorbike in an unfamiliar area in this darkness! What kind of irresponsible grownups would my Yuuri and I look like if we let you go out into such lurking danger?!" Viktor advocated, effecting adultly concern.

"Ugh, that the hell Viktor-" this must have been the thirteenth time he'd said that in two minutes, "- this is all part of your dumb plan to get us to bond or whatever other dumb stuff you've got floating around in that pathetic can of sausages you call a brain!"

"I know, isn't it great?" Viktor cooed back sweetly.

Pissed off as Yuri was, he wasn't about to go out like some idiot teen in a horror movie in the dark on the long, lonely road that stretched around the mountain.  
Instead, he vented his frustration to the sky in one aggravated yell and stalked the short distance towards their tents, Otabek following silently behind.

Yuri thanked whatever deity was watching over Viktor's shiny-ass fivehead that their tents had already been set up. If he'd had to sit through going through the hassle of unpacking and sorting an unfamiliar brand of tent- it wouldn't actually take any longer than ten minutes, he just seriously could not be bothered. Like, at all- he'd have set about finding out how well-adjusted Viktor was to taking things other than Katsudon's dick up his ass- specifically the tent poles until his fiancé eventually sighed resignedly at him to use his words, not violence.

Their tents were the regulation three metres apart- Viktor obviously hadn't been the one to set them up- since when was he a regulations man? More like "what's the worse that could happen? Karma?"

There were only two tents- two man tents of course, but that meant Viktor and Katsudon were definitely sharing- no way Yuri was going to pick between either of them- There literally was no lesser evil?? Between the two???  
But they better fucking keep it down or else two bodies would be getting lost in the woods at midnight.

Stupid "already married" couple and their dumb records Yuri was gonna beat into the dirt and _seriously what the heck were they doing_ camping _in the middle of nowhere_?

"Alright campers!" Viktor sang in a voice far too enthusiastic to be addressing a crowd that mainly consisted of people who might seriously be planning his immediate disappearance from the face of this earth if he pushed them too far, which he was one more airheaded comment about their current Viktor induced predicament from doing.

Except murder would probably be above Otabek- ever the perfect gentleman, though maybe even he would consider giving taking Viktor for a ride on his motorbike tied with his back to the minimal backseat space there was and make the old man beg to keep the little hair he had left as it faced the danger of being torn away by oncoming traffic

  
Just maybe.

  
Viktor's sustained rambling dragged Yuri from his murderous musings, "Gather round!" He said as they were stood literally metres apart.

"Okay, it's time for the main event!"

"What- dinner? Are we gonna be roasting you on a spit because I don't see any edible food, and right now you're looking the most expendable old ma-!"

A jumbo packet of marshmallows materialised in Katsudon's hands all of a sudden before they were chucked unceremoniously into Yuri's chest.

"Shush Yura, I'm saying something important!"

Yuri did not in fact _shush_ , but he did tear into the packet with a vengeance- maybe a bit too much vengeance because three of the poor things rolled morosely onto the earthy ground that Yuri was not willing to apply the five second rule to.

"It's not camping without creeepy stories round a campfire! I think, to get us started- [I'll go first!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11782080)"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Here is the rest of our [collab](https://twitter.com/nebulousvoid/status/896368188480512001)! 
> 
> Next up is Shawarmother's ["Ghostwriter"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11776209/chapters/26551317) and if you didn't click on "I'll go first", @Demonsexual1's (apparently the name is an inside joke I've sorta forgotten) [The Holder of Gold](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11782080) was posted by our dear leader @Nebulousvoid in her stead in order to meet the deadline
> 
> Lastly is my own fic "Speaking" that is the next fic in the series, but-
> 
> These are not all in a series.
> 
> Why?
> 
> I'm not 100% sure. While we were mostly cohesive maybe we weren't 100% organised,,,  
> and I may have been a teeny bit scared to voice my confusion at something,,, and doubtful about suggesting after mixing something up beforehand so.
> 
> :3  
> Take a look if you like- linking the stuff above and below may or may not have taken an hour of trial and error having never done this before (now to figure out how to successfully embed  
> images in fic)- and I hope you enjoy if you do- we worked as best as we could on it and I had fun- weird confused anxious fun, as one does in a brand new group, and alot of this was hurriedly and guiltily written- as I am Bad At Deadlines; literally I I'm a day late with this, again- 
> 
>    
> Comment if you will! I wonder what this vignette things reads like as a standalone to other people, and again, thank you for reading! 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [Melody0136](https://melody0136.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter at [@M3lody0136](https://mobile.twitter.com/M3lody0136)  
> And will literally talk nonstop about anything to anyone- LITERALLY. _ANYTHING._ 100% about things Haikyuu, Voltron, BnHA, Fairytail and of course YOI!


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